Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
