I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize