no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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