i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
