what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
