Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
