if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
