She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
