I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
