If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize