Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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