i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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