I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she woke up with a sticky ear
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
