my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
