ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
