just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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