do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
