is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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