Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
