A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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