his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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