I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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