My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
