She's JV to your varsity
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
