I wish you could order shots online.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
