Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
In America we eat man semen.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
