now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
