her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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