you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
