grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Randomize
