So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
