first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
worst night to have a conscience
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
