why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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