I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
