I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize