I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
dude. I can hear the air.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
