We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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