So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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