the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
