Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
