my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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