she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
