K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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