i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
