We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
