apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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