Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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