I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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