OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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