I hate your face
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
