U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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