Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
