is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
