Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
