thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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