Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
