Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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