Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
This girl is more easily done than said...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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