ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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