Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
